Life is an adventure, let's go!
 
As I write this first new blog here, I'm fighting back horror, tears, and feeling at a loss. First, I'm an author as many know. I started writing to correct the things in my life that some might need therapy for. Writing is my therapy, and the novels that come of it, kind of - sort of - fixes me. 
Kindah - well I can function - at times, LOL - anyway.
I've been trying to blog for years, but I'm not that good at it because - well, I'm a novelist and I suppose I need all my mental juice and time to complete those works. But this image... gave me a stomachache and brought to me all the reasons I don't like weave, extensions... - etc. 
PictureGlued In Place
OH my goodness, for years, many many years, I have deeply felt what I'm about to write. Yep, many people I've made angry with my view. Black women who feel they NEED their weave, extensions, etc. There are so many terms now related to and associated with the new, and trending weave wave!
In the year 2017 - this picture of what has happened to a black woman who has her own reason for getting constant weaves. In this case, one too many times and more than ever, trusting the WRONG woman to install it. LOOK at her forehead/headline and that canyon of trauma, injury that will scar her forever. It's amazing infection did not build up so that she ended up in the hospital or worse, a coffin!

When we were slaves and SHAMED for not having silky, straight, glossy locks - because our coarse, curly, loose or tight, dry or not, offended our owners. We were forced to find solutions to stay on massa's good side. That meant, a bandanna, head rag, cut if off, or a "Caustic Chemical straightener, that often left your head in spots here and there, like the above pictures. Caustics were made of lye, soap and animal fat. It straightened the hair, and depending on how, "BAD" - your hair was, it was left on longer and thus, burned the scalp. That one word term referring to black hair still lives on today. In the black community, it can still be heard as a reference toward a particular victim of discussion by those who have chosen her, due to hair texture, density type.
  • Too many black women are messed up in the head (mind - mental) about their hair type.
  • Especially still with too many of the OLDER generation.
  • Too many black women haven't a clue of how to take care of their own black hair. Because we've been running from it and hiding it, and using things on it - to change what it is.
  • Too many black women HATE their hair, because of what it will or won't do for them.
  • Too many black women covet long, straight, silky, glossy hair.
  • Too many black women's insecurity starts right off, from the top of their heads.
  • Too many black women - fight their hair!
  • Too many black women suffer from "Depression" over their hair.
  • Some even, will forego paying RENT - to get that BAD hair, covered up - hidden away, and disguised by a hair that grew out of someone else head!
  • Too many black women are still suffering from what SLAVERY put in their heads, and can't let it go.
  • Too many black women, who DON'T NEED weave, won't even give their own hair a chance.
GOOD & Logical reasons for WIGS?...
  • Tremendous thinning or Alopecia
  • Conditioning treatment
  • Allowing time to let hair grow out evenly after serious breakage, or damage to scalp or hair
  • Cancer and the cause of the treatment
  • Costume party
  • Temporary color change or desire to avoid damaging your own with coloring. 
  • Temporary style change or test
  • No time and don't feel like messing with my own!
  • Hair is long, but wanna go short a while and don't wish to cut your own
  • In disguise for the Witness protection program - Hey, that's possible! LOL
  • To surprise your hubby with a different you for fun, *echm* or whatever... hahahaha
But weave, frontal lace, closures, GLUE of any kind.
Please spend some time with your hair. Ask yourself some serious questions about why you're rejecting what is your own leading to an idea you invest in one time too many. 

And so... uhhh, what's the alternative? How about this. Accept you are black. Accept that GOD our creator in his infinite wisdom, actually did YOU NO disservice. That he sees variety and diversity as a beautiful thing. MAN and what man did to us, brought all of this about. Heal yourself from it.
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In the words of a well known man... Malcolm X - yes - "Who taught you that there was something wrong with you?" STOP trying to hide, get rid of, change, and destroy what you are. Let it go. Because of our imperfection, we're not gonna get it right anyway. Look how many have profited from our self-hatred. Look how many millionaires you've made, because you hate what you see in the mirror. Please stop that. The key word is to ENHANCE... 
  • not kill
  • not bury
  • not lock away
  • not damage... 
Instead, take the time to embrace... cherish... learn who you are. Learn from the top of your head, to the bottom of your feet. Get to know YOUR OWN hair! See what makes it, a part of you - but it's NOT who you are. 

Here are some alternatives to help you be true to you. Just think about it... okay? Just give time to see you, know you, and be true... about why you bury what makes you unique.
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Yes, even before I began this blog, I know and expect all kinds of negative feedback. That is the story of my life. However - as I was a young black girl, with ultra BAD hair, that would grow - which made it even worse, I get it. My hair made my mother's cousin CRY. Yes, I'm serious. My mother left me with her and  my auntee in Memphis, Tn. And the instructions  my mother gave them all - "NO - NOT under any circumstances, WASH OR WET HER HAIR!!!" My mother meant those words and for good reason.
Her cousin, after me being there for oooh, I think it was two weeks, made it up in her head, that - that instruction simply would not do. Made no sense to her. And I heard her argue with her auntee, "No no, oh no, she not gonna be here that long and not have her hair washed," At that time, my hair length was to my shoulder blades I would say. It had to be under specific care and control at all times... WATER - no... one had to be experienced with my hair to introduce WATER. Needless to say, my moms cousin, laid me at the age of 7 across the sink counter, and reached to adjust the water for warm, and I at that young age sensed disaster, that this would not turn out well. And warned her, reminded her what my mama said, my main reason... I WAS TENDER HEADED!!! And I said, "Mama say you not supposed to wet my hair," And her reply was... "Your mama ain't here, is she?"
Three hours later, I was crying and SHE WAS CRYING. It took her an hour to get all the soap rinsed out, because it was so much hair, so thick, we had to return to the sink two more times thinking she'd gotten it all. The next couple of hours things only got worse. Finally, she was at the height of stress, in high anxiety, fretting, pacing and praying to GOD... and begging for help. There I was, hair OUT OF CONTROL, shrinking by the moment, knotting up, tangling, and standing out in every direction... with a large clump of it on the side table that she'd combed/torn out. 

NO ONE in that house knew what to do. My Auntee kept walking by me and looking at my hair, while shaking her head, "Uuuuh chile," this to my mom's cousin, "She tol'yah - you betta' thank of somethin', cuz that hair ain't gone comb itself," And off she walked, and my mom's cousin's twin sister said to her, "You gone have to call her mama,"

YES... my mother then left work under EMERGENCY - to drive all the way from Chicago, Il. to Memphis, Tn. to comb my hair. When she saw me, she had her cousin crying again. With her cousin promising that she would never, ever - ever again come near me with water again! Those few days in itself could be a short story, LOL. By the time I turned 12, another Aunt talked my mother into letting her RELAX my hair. That is where my own journey began in not getting to know, and dealing with what grew out of my head. So I get it. I know what it means to want something easier. Something that doesn't require so much time, and energy. Truth, that will always be based on how you choose to use your hair. The styles above show quick styles, and some not so quick.  

In the end, all I'm saying is... STOP the things that will take away your choice to go back to your own hair. As you can see in some of the damage pics... they are now FORCED to cover up. And most will return to what damaged their scalp in the first place. I'm sorry, if you must do it, wear a WIG! Five fat hair plats, and good hair pins. Wigs can help... but that other stuff, please leave it alone. 

And for all you hairstylist out there with your skills mixed with your greed, and total and complete disregard for what you're doing to your sista's. When that type of damage is done, you should lose your license and right to touch another head of black hair, ever again. You don't care about their image, all you care about is hearing that cash register sing! I resent YOU the most... because you know better - you know the damage it will cause. Where has your conscience gone? Or did you ever have one?


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If I blogit, I felt it, So I meant it. LOVE who you are... spend the time to beautify the inner you... that is what truly transforms you.
 


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    Mercedes Keyes, this author can be found at Amazon, and on facebook. Please check me out there.

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